I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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