i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
