she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
FUCK WHALES
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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