these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
