hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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