I can tuck mytits in my pants
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
