yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
