It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
