That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Sorry about my life...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize