He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
