Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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