i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize