She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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