one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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