I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
