Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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