question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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