I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize