im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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