Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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