I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
