I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
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