Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
