My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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