So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize