Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
