To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
