we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
