Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
