This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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