so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
