My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
