the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
