you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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