I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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