I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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