Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
