I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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