This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
