so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
