Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
