He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
