I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
