It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
