ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
