all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
