I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
