so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
