Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
