Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
