I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
