Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Never joke about your clitoris.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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