a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize