just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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