im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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