God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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