I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
