I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
