OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
