we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
