i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
