Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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