Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
