i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he was CRYING into my vagina
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Help. Why am I so naked?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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