I can't breathe out the right side of my face
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize