So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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