I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
