well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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