What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
